The Latest Word from Brenda:

No Regrets! – Really?! guest blogger Jill Tracey (Doing Life with the Traceys)

01/25/2012 12:11 PM

Is it possible to live totally regret-free?

Of course not.

No matter how I try, I can’t picture a scenario where I’ll reach a ripe, old age, park myself on a recliner with a blanket and a cat, sit back, sigh, and say to whoever will listen, “You know, I really have no regrets. There’s not one thing I’d do differently if I had the chance!”

I think this is important to remember.

Obvious, but important.

I don’t know about you, but I feel A LOT of pressure to live with absolutely no regrets. To not let one moment get away from me. To take advantage of every opportunity. But, guess what? I can’t.

I don’t have the time, budget, or brain space to grab hold of every chance to do the right thing, make a memory, take a picture, create a scrapbook, or even simply avoid the wrong choice. Eventually, I’m going to mess up or miss something. And, I will regret it. Sometimes a little bit; sometimes woefully. But, at some point…I will have regrets. It’s inevitable.

So, where do I go from here? If it’s impossible to live a regret-free life, why change at all?

This isn’t much different from that age-old question for those of us who follow Christ: If I can’t live without sin, why try? Why not just rest in grace? Hmmm… we could launch a theological debate here, couldn’t we? I’ll leave this to Paul’s wisdom in Romans 6. Still, beyond that, should we endeavor to live without regret? I’m not sure.

But, what about striving to live a fewer-regrets life?

Here are a few ways I’m attempting to do this:

Embrace the inevitability of regrets – On January 3rd, I posted my theme for 2012 on Facebook: This year, I want to embrace my imperfection and remember I’m accepted in spite of it. If I change, it’ll be through strength and courage that doesn’t come from me anyway. So, why not bask in the love, baby?! This was freeing to me and continues to be my philosophy. AND, the response from others was incredible. Dozens of likes and comments pointed to the fact that so many of us are ready to strive for well-done instead of PERFECTLY-done!

Work to limit the regrets – I’m asking God to help me focus on what matters today and nothing more. I want to love my husband and daughter well and show God’s grace to others. I need help doing this. Goals are a useful tool. We’re striving to rid our home of unneeded stuff and our schedules of unnecessary activities. We’re focusing more on giving than accumulating. And, we have our personal fitness and improvement goals. But, I’m trying really hard to remember that getting close is OK and way better than not trying at all.

Move beyond the regrets – A couple weeks ago, my daughter had trouble staying in bed. It had been several nights in a row of tummy aches that seemed to come conveniently at 7:30pm. Finally, we laid down an ultimatum… stay in bed OR ELSE. The “or else” was a punishment we were certain would keep her in her room. It didn’t. In an hour, she was back downstairs with a report of a tummy that hurt like a broken leg. We had to follow through on the punishment, and it was a horrible night for her and for Mommy and Daddy. Fast forward two days later to a report from the doctor that she had strep throat. Guess what was her first symptom? A tummy that hurt like a broken leg. Oh, how I regretted punishing our sweet girl for being sick! It still brings tears to my eyes. My husband and I both apologized lovingly and explained that sometimes parents don’t get it right. But, oh, if I could change that night! What a humbling reminder that I WILL MESS UP! When it happens, all I can do is ask for forgiveness and make adjustments for next time. After that, it’s my choice to live in the regret or move forward. With God’s help, I choose to move forward. How about you?

Tell me one way you’ll live with fewer regrets this year and you could win some free music! Leave a comment and find out more at www.doinglifewiththetraceys.org!

Thank you so much to the FABULOUS Brenda Garrison for inviting me to guest-blog today. I can’t tell you just how much I appreciate your wisdom and advice that help us all live a fewer-regrets life!

Love, Jill

Continue to Brenda's Blog