Today I am honored and privileged to share a post by Genevieve Georget. She strings words together with the most beautiful rhythm and melody. Her photographs are as beautiful as her writing. All that to say, she is an amazing author and photographer. Gen and I met on Instagram. Her writing makes me feel like we are kindred spirits who would be great friends if we lived near each other. I love her photos and the thoughts she posts with them.
Gen lives in Ottawa, Ontario. You can read more about her here.
Grab a cup of coffee and sit with my friend as she shares the deepest part of her heart–a place where we all find connection.
“A while back, I was going through a terrible falling out with a friend and it took me a long time to get over the hurt of it all. I would constantly replay the scenario in my head and wonder what went wrong along the way. I was angry and I was in pain.
But I also remember the day when those two emotions left me. The day when the storm stopped raging and the lightning stopped striking. There was a calm to be found in there…a peace…along with a whole flood of feelings that I wasn’t prepared for.
And it was all the emotions I held onto before the pain took everything else hostage. It was all the reasons I had cared about this person in the first place.
In that moment, I remember reaching for my phone…searching for their name…and typing out a quick text…
“I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you…”
Then I deleted it.
Because I was scared.
So I tucked the sentiment away in the deepest part of my heart and it has stayed there ever since. Never to cross the barrier between us.
I read recently that there is a group of doctors who believe that suppression of love could potentially be the cause of most heart attacks. As in, we care about people…we make the conscious choice not to show it…and as a result, our hearts literally break.
Take a minute and let that sink in…because if you’re anything like me…it won’t sit well with you.
Because it means that we don’t just break because of the pain we keep bottled up inside…but we break because of all the love we keep bottled up inside too.
It means that every time I know I should apologize and I don’t…I break.
It means that every time I delete a kind message because I’m scared…I break.
It means that every time I don’t use the miraculous gift we’ve all been given to connect with another human being in a meaningful way…I break.
Something inside of me breaks. And this…is everything.
Because if you show me a handful of words that have been left unspoken…I’ll show you a heart that’s been aching to say them.
“I miss you”
“I wish we could be friends again”
“I know it didn’t work out…but you were important to me” “I’m here”
“I’m sorry this happened to us”
How many of us hold onto words for someone else that were never meant to be locked away? How many of us keep our hearts in a vault with the assumption that we’re protecting it? How many of us are just scared of putting all of our love out into world for fear that it might never come back?
But the truth is; anytime we allow a relationship to suffer because of fear…we inevitably end up suffering right alongside it.
I believe that there is a part of ourselves that wakes up every morning knowing that we innately belong to each other. And I believe that same part of us strives to contribute to this world free of expectations…personal agenda…and ulterior motives.
That part of us simply knows; the human in me…loves the human in you.
I believe this was the part of myself that typed out a message for a lost friend who was on my mind; before it got swept away by my fear…my pride…my pain. Before I got consumed by what someone else might think and how that might make me feel.
We often think that vulnerability leaves us weak and exposed, don’t we? That it somehow shows the cracks in our armour. But what if vulnerability is what takes our broken hearts and makes them whole again?
What if it’s not about the painful things we keep ourselves from saying…but all the beautiful things we should be saying? What if it’s not really about hurting less…but simply about loving more?
When we send those texts. When we say those words. When we release those fears. It’s possible that our lives may very well depend on it.
I don’t know, you guys…maybe these doctors are on to something…and maybe they aren’t.
But I do know this; in a world full of breaking hearts…maybe there’s something to be said…for all of the things we didn’t say…”
* Darling photo by idreamstudios.
Brenda Garrison is an author and speaker who empowers women with the confidence to live their calling. Brenda is currently pursuing a Bachelor of Science Degree in Ministry Leadership with a Concentration in Women’s Ministry at Moody Bible Institute. She and her husband, Gene, are the parents of three young adult daughters and live near Metamora, IL.