Lately I feel I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what God wants me to do next and strategizing how to do it, but not doing it. Sounds like the definition of procrastinating, doesn’t it?
Then God showed me this vision. An obscure object was laying in the yard just a few yards in front of me. I felt God say, “Come on out here, a little closer to what I have for you. Be a little braver to what I’ve shown you.”
I felt God nudging me to take a step of faith away from my secure position of thinking, a step towards what He has next for me, something He’s been trying to get my attention.
I asked myself, “What do I just need to do? What am I holding back on?” The thought from God was convicting. I often think—If I only had more time and less demands on my time, I would ________________(fill in the blank on any given day).
In response to God’s prodding I asked myself the question: What is the one thing I want to happen today no matter what? What one thing will bring me joy, satisfaction, or a sense of fulfilling my purpose?
Recently I talked with a young mom about her struggle to find the right work situation that would provide a little extra income. She further explained her struggle. “I want to be there 100% for my kids but I also know to be my healthiest self, I need a little bit of work to do.” Her authentic self-awareness resonated in my spirit. I, too, “need a little bit of work to do” to be my healthiest self. And not housework, but the work that God has put in me to do.
I love being mom, Nana, wife, friend, daughter, and sister. But there’s another part of me that needs fulfillment as well. That other part loves to teach women about God, how much He loves them, how they can know Him better and live in relationship with Him. But this is the thing that I most often don’t find the time to do. Oh I have my excuses—so many other things on my to-do list come before writing. And those are important things. But each day and week that goes by without me spending a chunk of time on my computer is another day/week where I feel a little less like myself.
So now I start the day with two questions:
What Do I Really Want to Just Do Today?
What is the one thing that if I could have thirty minutes to do this I would be filled up and feel more fully me?
The second question:
What Really Matters Today?
I talked about this in my last blog. This question remains my best filter of what is truly important in my day.
Yes, all the things on my “What Really Matters Today” list are legit and are my priorities and fill me with joy. But on a fairly regular basis I need to something in my day that completes the person God made me to be. Answering first question gives me permission and space to be more fully me.
Just like my “What Really Matters List”, I schedule time for my answer to “What Do I Really Want to Do Today?” I find the time in the day to make it happen, even just a little.
There will be seasons when I won’t be able to live the answer to that question. I just came through such a season this past spring when our family went through hard circumstances.
But now I feel God has placed me in a wide-open pasture. He has given me the freedom to choose what goes in this pasture. He has nudged me towards a few things and I have done my best to follow His leading. I believe taking time for writing (or whatever He gives as the answer to “What Do I Really Want to Just Do Today?”) is one of those things He has nudged me towards in this pasture.
What about you? What do you really just want to do today? What would make you feel more fully like the person God created you to be?
Brenda Garrison is an author and speaker who empowers women with the confidence to live their calling. Brenda is currently pursuing a Bachelor of Science Degree in Ministry Leadership with a Concentration in Women’s Ministry at Moody Bible Institute. She and her husband, Gene, are the parents of three young adult daughters and live near Metamora, IL.